Forgetfulness
Jason’s wife died in the hospital after a long struggle with cancer. At the time they had three teenage boys at home. Jason worked as a postman and was able to be home early everyday after work. He said that having teenagers who were walking eating machines kept him very busy with grocery shopping and cooking. To help out he had an extra refrigerator put down in their basement. Not long after his wife died he went down to the basement to get some bread and milk from the fridge there. Once he reached the basement he began to wonder what he had come downstairs for. Not being able to remember, he went back upstairs empty handed. As he reached the top of the stairs he remembered, oh yeah, bread and milk only to go down the stairs and bring up only the bread. He said he found himself forgetting things that he normally remembered very easily and and he found it very frustrating.
“he found himself forgetting things that he normally remembered”
He said that he began to understand that his memory was not as good as usual and even recognizing that made it easier to handle. He then did not expect himself to remember everything and founds ways to make it easier for himself. If he had a doctors appointment for himself or one of his sons, he would ask the doctors receptionist to remind him of the coming appointment. He started to leave his grocery lists in one place on the fridge and went to it to add any new items. And if all failed and he showed up at the grocery store without a list he would simply say to himself that it was alright, he was just grieving. Somehow he said that by acknowledging his grief that way took the stress away and make remembering just a little bit easier.
Tools
Make a list.
Acknowledge that you ARE grieving.
Have others remind you of important dates and appointments.
