Listening to the Radio
Mary came to the grief group after losing her husband from cancer. Through out the 10 week program her main concern was driving the car. Since her husband had done most of the driving all their married life, she now found it a major obstacle in her life.
Her friends tried to help her by driving her and offering to go to the store for her. She thought hey were missing the point. “All I want to be able to do is to drive my own car, not be dependent on anyone.”, she would say. So I asked her, what was her main concern. She said that she could fill the car up with gas and knew of a good mechanic, but what worried her most of all was driving and listening to the radio. So I asked her to explain a little more for me.
She said, “When I’m driving and the radio is on, I’m afraid that I will hear our special song. I am afraid that if I do I will be so upset that I will have to pull over the car and then a police person will come up to me and ask me what I am doing. I am worried that I will forget who I am, where I was going, and where I live.” We talked about the choices she had. She could choose to drive without the radio on or drive with it on knowing that their favorite song might be played.
“I am worried that I will forget who I am, where I was going, and where I live.”
The next week when Mary came to the group, she had a smile on her face. She said that she had decided to turn the radio on. She decided that she could live with the worst case. She knew that she had her drivers license with her and it has her address on it so she could use it to find her way home. And if a police person showed up, they could always help her find her way home.
Mary faced a very real fear for her. Her friends meant well and I am sure helped a great deal but she needed to start to do things for herself.
Tools
Face your fears and decide to do it anyway. (It eases our anxieties when we face them).
Know that your friends mean well but do not always know what is best for you.
