You’re Being Hammered
When we are facing grief, our bodies can feel like we are being hit with a sledge hammer. We can ache and have pain in places for no apparent reason. The tenseness of grief can and needs to find release or else we can become sick and even on rare occasions die ourselves.
Man who died one year after the memorial service for his wife
A local funeral home called me and asked if I would do a memorial service for the following Wednesday for a lady in her early 50’s. Since I was available, I took down the information and called her husband to set up a meeting. I meet him and his family the next day. At our meeting, the husband of the deceased did not show any kind of emotion. He was very factual with little expression at all. The service was conducted and I did not hear from this man even though I suggested he get some help with his grief.
“he could not or chose not to face his grief… and it caught up with him in the end”
It was nearly a year later when this man’s family contacted me themselves. They wanted to arrange a memorial for this man since he had just died. They told me that they were not surprised that he died since he ran from his pain and loss as fast as he could. They said he would tell them that he was going to visit with them for a week or two but only last a couple of days and then would come up with some excuse to leave. He was like a bouncing ball for he would bounce between his family members never staying very long at all. The problem was that he could not or chose not to face his grief. Our grief does not simply go away, it stays with us unless we do the work. This man chose not to do the work and it caught up with him in the end.
We need to find ways in which to release the stress that we carry in our bodies. On a normal day tension can build but when we are grieving it is magnified many times over. One of the first tools to use is to listen to ourselves and then to find some form of exercise that will ease the stress. By listening to our bodies we can become sensitive to the tightness and stress we are carrying and then once aware, do something about it. Something as simple as walking around the block to start off can be very beneficial. Many hospice societies and grief support groups have walking clubs. These programs are another way to ease the tension by walking and talking the tightness right out of you. If there are no hospices or grief support groups in your area, invite someone you know to walk with you. Some big shopping malls have walking groups who meet every morning and walk around the inside of the mall before anyone else is there.
Tools
Listen to yourself first before following someone else’s suggestions.
Get some form of exercise on a regular bases.
